What IF the Grass is Actually Greener?

We have had so many issues with our lawn over the years, it’s almost comical. When we lived in a small home, on a tree-lined street, we had trouble growing grass in the front yard. The large maple trees provided so much shade and the roots proceeded out so far that there was no topsoil for growing grass. In the small backyard, we always had our own children and neighborhood children running around. I remember telling my husband, “This is all that matters right now. We will have plenty of years when we can have perfect grass.”

Maybe that promise set my husband up for frustration. When our children were a little older, we moved to a new home and what my husband thought would be his chance for that “perfect grass.” The first problem we encountered, was that we had sandy soil and there had not been enough topsoil brought in. The roots never got deep enough so our grass was always “hit or miss.”

One spring our grass was looking quite healthy, and then we had two late snow falls. Somehow this totally killed our grass. Someone called it winter mold. We had our youngest daughter’s graduation party at the house that year, and I am not exaggerating when I tell you the front AND back yards looked like hay fields. It was so embarrassing; all I could do was laugh. We got tons of advice about the lawn that year!!

At one point my husband ended up having it all burnt away, more topsoil brought in, and everything replanted. The results were basically the same; not overly impressive by any means. I think a turning point for our grass was one year when my husband stopped watering it at the end of the summer, which made the roots go deeper looking for moisture. It seems like our grass has been better ever since, but far from perfect.

As you can imagine, our lawn has always been a source of stress for my husband and the poor guy has tried virtually everything. Now don’t get me wrong, in the eleven years we’ve lived in this house we have had some years with beautiful, lush grass. We just never know from spring to spring what we will have. I, being the forever optimist and encourager, am always telling him how nice it looks.

As we are driving down our street, toward our home, our lawn looks nice and green as does our neighbor’s and other lawns we drive by. The problem, my husband knows, is once you get out of the car and walk into the yard; it is then you notice the weeds and other imperfections. Our grass looks great at a distance, especially when we’re just doing a “drive by.”

This is what it is like with people, as well. When we work with someone, for instance, we only see them in a certain light. People have their “best face on” when they are at work or in social settings. We may be tempted to think everyone else has perfect grass, but we aren’t getting out of the car and walking through their yard looking for weeds.

Working with someone is not the same as living with someone. We can sometimes think, “This person is so much easier to talk to; always in a better mood; and more appreciative of me, than my own spouse.”

Don’t be deceived. There are “weeds” in their lawn too. You are only “driving by” them at work or occasional social settings so it is no surprise their “grass” looks nice and green. When you are in a committed relationship, you will have problems, stress, and good times too. You’ll have to try different strategies and see what works best. There may be seasons of replanting, as well as seasons of nice, green, lush grass. The point is, the grass is yours to take care of. You don’t just give up because you are in a dry season, or you are not seeing the results you want. No, that just motivates you even more.

Nowadays, my husband and I really appreciate when our grass looks good. We don’t take it for granted. We know the struggles our lawn has been through. We realize it doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, it better reflects us when it isn’t perfect. Just like our grass, we are works in progress, but we sincerely have never been more peaceful and happier in our long marriage. So what if someone else’s grass is greener? It’s not ours, and we will stick with ours, weeds and all.

[Much more will be shared in a webinar, "Secrets No One Else Will Tell You for Joyful, Long-lasting Relationships." For more information about this CLICK HERE ]